Her Response: "I'm cool. I'm down. I can do it."
I responded, "Okay," while I simultaneously booked a hotel instead of hostel for our first stop in Hanoi. (Upgrade!)
Ho Chi Minh's Memorial |
The hotel picked her up at the airport and she bounded in wearing Fila Skeletoes and carrying her reinforced backpack with its anti-theft straps that she ordered online at some specialty travel store. "Where did you find this place? It looks crazy outside! I hope you registered this address with the US Consulate," she said as she unpacked her backpack chocked full of pharmaceuticals and immediately began cleaning up our hotel room. After she demanded that I have the hotel launder my clothing instead of doing it myself (Upgrade!), I began side stepping her questions by telling her our plans for the next few days.
Me: "We are going to go to Ho Chi Minh's Memorial, the night market, Halong Bay and a few temples and pagodas."
Arms must be covered to enter?! Does this work? |
I know my mother...
I had already booked our tours for the following days (Upgrade!) and along we went. We enjoyed our day at Halong Bay and met a great family from Australia. We even had fun on our tour of the city and decided to spend our last full day in Hanoi just shopping.
Out of all the things that could have happened in Hanoi, the one thing that I didn't want to happen, happened!
WAIT FOR IT....
My mother was pick pocketed while we were shopping. Lovely (insert heavy sarcasm here)...
A crippled, older, man saw her put her money in her back pocket and immediately started hopping around us while someone else was offering to polish my mom's shoe. The man brushed up against my mom and she instantly checked her pockets. Before I could coherently hear her say, "He took my money," she was already chasing him down! I turned around just as she grabbed him and spun his crippled tail around so fast that he did a pirouette on his good leg. "Give me back my money," she screamed as she ripped the money back out of this man's hand. I don't know who was more stunned, me or the man who stole her money!
Whoa... Mom's a gangsta! I don't know crap about my mother...
Halong Bay! |
Since the bus ride from Hanoi, Vietnam to Luang Prabang, Laos has been described as "the bus ride from hell" by many travellers on Lonely Planet, I also changed our travel plans for the remainder of the trip and booked train tickets down the Reunification Express from Hanoi to Hue and then Hue to Ho Chi Minh City (Upgrade!). I figured we could travel up through Cambodia to Thailand, instead of across Laos. I'm happy I did this, because after the first train ride my mother was DONE!
"This train is nasty! I'm sleeping on my bags!" |
As soon as we got to the hotel in Hue, she cancelled the remainder of our train tickets and booked airline tickets (Upgrade!).
While in Hue, mom decided to try it my way and ditch the tours, so we compromised. She booked a private car and a driver to drive us to Hoi An.(Upgrade! Serious Upgrade!) Unfortunately, the driver was pulled over by the police for speeding and we ended up being held for well over an hour waiting for a replacement driver. Lovely (enter heavy sarcasm here) ... We still don't know what the hang up was, but being held on the side of the road by the Vietnam Police can throw a wrench into any day trip, so we ended up back at the hotel.
The following day we tried to recapture our site seeing day by renting a pair of bicycles for two hours and touring Hue on our own. When travelling I like explore by literally getting lost in neighborhoods and eating and shopping at random places. Unfortunately, my mother was still suffering from PTSD from her Hanoi experience and after realizing what I was trying to do, she cancelled that bike trip. Our two hour trip was cut down to thirty minutes and she hired two cyclo drivers to bike us around the city. (upgrade!)
I know that mothers are supposed to teach their daughters what to expect in life in terms of standards, but I think my mother just screwed me. As we head to Ho Chi Minh, I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to get back to my backpacker lifestyle once she leaves or if I've been spoiled beyond repair. Whatever the case, I now know two things: 1) I won't be doing my own laundry for awhile and 2) I definitely can't wait until the next family member or friend decides to join me; this is a nice reprieve from my new normal.
Thanks Mom!
The caves at Halong Bay! |
Yes, that's a baby on the front! |
Purple Palace |
Our Australian Friends! |
Ho Chi Minh's private quarters |
Nine West in Hanoi! |
OMGosh!!! That is SOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!! Mom's a gangsta! Glad to know you all survived Vietnam =)
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! We have got to put you on the Travel Channel! You have to truly appreciate a Gangsta that understands the importance of an upgrade! Continue to enjoy your time.
ReplyDeleteHow cool is your gangsta mom? Are you on Twitter?
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm not... I thought about it, but my cell phone has been in airplane mode for the last 2 months. So it would be difficult to tweet consistently.
ReplyDeleteThat would have pissed me off! I'm cheap for real, and I would have sent her home super early.
ReplyDeleteYes you are cheap DeMarkus. I'm glad I was with Davita instead.
ReplyDeleteHecka funny she didn't tell that part
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she told you guys about Vietnam. I bet she left off a lot of stuff.
ReplyDelete